Mama Said There Would Be Days Like This
It seems to me that I have been seen naked by more strangers in the last 2 months than the rest of my natural life and I am 40.
Let me clarify…they have all been medical professionals. We moved to West Virginia some time ago and I finally got around to finding a doctor and BAM…I’m 40 so I have to have everything checked. Once again the mind wanders and since I don’t want to pay attention to needles, instruments or snapping gloves, I start thinking…did turning 40 mean everything suddenly broke.
There are days I feel every bit of my 40 years. Other days I feel and act like a teen and still there are moments like today when I feel older…much older than 40. I will not bore you will the seemingly endless appointments I have been too, but I’ve had to have some biopsies and tests. The waiting is painful. Most of them I’m not worried about but the biopsy taken yesterday will have me fretting till the results arrive. Here is the thing, Cancer is not really the issue my family medical history battles. We are relatively healthy folks.
All these appointments and tests do not even address my top two concerns: losing weight and hemiphlegic migraines. Losing weight will go better when I find time…correction when I make time to exercise. (I just said yesterday I wanted to be honest right?) Losing weight I can do with the right combination of discipline and drive toward my goal. I’ll also fit better in my Tiny house…maybe I should approach it that way.
My second health concern is one of the reasons I am working toward the goal of living tiny. Hemiphlegic migraines are not just headaches, they are a neurological condition that mimic TIA or stroke conditions without the long term damage. The first one I had was in 2012 and we thought I was having a stroke. My case is mild and well managed, but the condition makes me more susceptible to TIAs or strokes in the future. I have normal migraines on top of this, again they are well managed. However, if my condition were to suddenly get worse it could prevent me from doing my job. I can’t drive all day if I am dizzy and seeing double.
I don’t want to be held hostage by my finances or my health. My husband and I have figured out how to purchase our trailer the spring of 2017. By that time we should be able to start the exterior build and be dried in before winter 2017. That would put me at the early range of my desired time frame. I am hopeful and optimistic about my future.
My test results will be whatever they are and I will deal with it. I am going to plan for the future I want for me and my husband. We will work toward those retirement goals and face things like we always have…together.