Tiny Dreams, Big Ambitions
I get posts on my Facebook feed from a page called “Tiny House People”. Today there was a little cartoon with a question asking how many people had been dreaming of living tiny since they were kids. (Small cabins, tree houses etc).
My first thought was a bed sheet draped between two twin beds in my childhood bedroom. There was enough space for me and my poodle. A few distinquished stuffed animals, pillows and my Little Golden and Disney books. This was my haven. I toured the highlight reel of my personal DIY fort national for a few minutes. I could be really creative with some sheets and clothes pins.
It occurred to me the I liked tucking myself in to tight, isolated spaces. On car trips I would make a basket of sorts behind the car seat in the floor with a blanket and pillow. The car seat was my desk or my pillow when I fell asleep. (This was before seatbelts were mandatory – 8 years later my sister did not have the same freedom).
I stay in a lot of different hotels with my job when I travel. One of my favorites is Microtel. I like the efficiency of space and all the ones I have been at have been nice. Several years ago, I stayed in a small cabin with my then husband and two kids in Tennessee. I never rested as well as I did in that little place. Of all the places my husband and I have lived, my favorite house is the one we had to leave behind in NC. It was the smallest of them all, about 900 square feet, 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. I loved it.
I am beginning to feel that my dream to build a tiny house is my coming to terms with who I really am. I don’t want a giant house to show my position in life. I see big beautiful houses, even on my favorite DIY and HGTV shows and once the wow factor subsides all I can think about is how much time it would take to clean that sucker or what the utilities bills would run.
I’m not thrifty with my money…I am trying to be but in the past I have made many foolish decisions financially. That is what originally led me to want a tiny house…the promise of eventual financial independence and the hope to face retirement with less fear than my parents. I have a long career still planned with my employer, but I want the ability to advance my professional opportunities or preserve my health by limiting or stopping work on MY terms.
My Tiny dream may not make sense to some people and that’s ok. For others my reasons may be inadequate; however, this is my life. I have lived by a lot of rules and tried to live up to people’s expectations. I am not going and doing anything that would embarrass my family (unless I paint my Tiny house a really wretched color). I have no desire to test my limits by pushing the envelope. I like security and things that are relatively, although not totally predictable. I do not have a desire to drink in excess or use mind altering substances. I certainly do not want to be out chasing romantic relationships outside my marriage. Knowing what I don’t want helps refine what I want.
I wrote a few posts about wants and needs. I am going to refine my needs list as the following – not necessarily in this order:
Shelter (both physical and emotional)
God and my faith
A tiny house
Position with my company that I love as much as my current job but without so much driving
To be more positive and gracious to others
A healthier lifestyle (This is all about food and exercise)
To complete items on my bucket list
There are other wants for the list but wants are the icing on the cake, the garnish to the entree, the tinsel on the tree. They are not required but the sure make things nicer. I find my list is shrinking and becoming more meaningful as I examine myself and the life I have lived. I also find that I am becoming more forgiving of my past mistakes. After all, that girl doesn’t live here anymore.