It’s The Final MELTDOWN…
Have you ever had that moment where you take your measurements, try on an outfit or weigh yourself and you just lose it. I mean really lose it. Crying, weeping, complete meltdown that leaves your significant other dumbfounded trying to figure out how to help you. (Or how to avoid you.)
This was me Monday night. I started my day off great, remember. I worked out. I drank my Shakeology. I did not follow the eating plan exactly but I was pretty dang close. I felt like I had accomplished something. I did accomplish starting down a path, but that speed bump took the wind right out of my sails.
I weighed myself. No surprise there, I knew where I was in that capacity. I recruited my husband to help take my measurements. Then I took his measurements. (Cause we are attacking this weight monster together) Then I completely melted down. Logically, I know that men and women carry their weight differently, in different parts of their body. I was mortified that my hips, thighs and arms were actually larger than my husbands. WHAT??? I freaked out. Crying, weeping and whining…much to my shame. How could he be smaller in most of his measurements than me?
It did not help that I was miserably sore from painting over the weekend. I was achy from the morning workout and my work day had been relentless. Two steps forward…right? Even my sleep has been wonky this week. I am tired but can’t get to sleep and I am dragging when the alarm goes off in the morning. To say I felt defeated the last couple of days is a bit of an understatement.
I know I will have a few more “moments” as I work this journey. I respect that there is a process in losing weight, getting stronger, cultivating my faith and reaching the goals I have set out for myself. Mind you I have been contemplating the set-backs and achievements with a great deal of meticulous reservation. Then three things occurred that brought everything back into perspective.
Yesterday, I met with Desiree. She is the wife of our youth Pastor and a member of our church staff. She is a sincere, slightly hyper, and amazingly loving person. She has that “it factor” with people. You are just drawn to her. Add to that she is profoundly aware of her faith and her relationship with God. She is a seeker and a teacher. I respect her deeply.
We were meeting to discuss some of the roles I have in our youth group. This was general discussion about what is going well, what can we improve and what the vision is for the next leg of the journey. She has a knack for affirmation. I went into the meeting in a valley and came out on a mountain. I can’t convey what a blessing she was to me yesterday.
Then today, Facebook provided something I desperately needed to see. “God is fixing broken pieces in your life. Get ready for restoration. God is preparing you for everything you prayed for.” (The Devout Christian)
I teared up inexplicably before I even finished reading the quote. Then I read it again. And again. I have probably read it twenty times today. I can testify to aspects of my life that have been made completely new. Restoration is a part of my life, I have experienced it. I have been praying for some pretty hefty things. Some of these things I have had timid faith about and others resounding move-that-mountain faith. I am seeing progress in each of these areas.
Let’s add one more thing. Tonight at youth, one of the young women talked about how we get deluded in thinking God fixes broken pieces…like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. If you pick up a jigsaw puzzle it will fall apart. Even if you use puzzle glue, you can clearly see how it was many broken pieces at one time. God does not piece the puzzle back together. He makes us new. He is not putting a Band-Aid on us…He makes us new creations.
We witness God’s glory in his creation. Creation is not always a neat and tidy. New land formations come from the erupting of volcanoes. Rivers erode through land masses to create gorgeous valleys over extensive periods of time. Bringing a child into the world is a process of creation. The child grows, is born, grows more and develops overtime. God took six days to form creation. There is a process.
When we give our lives to God we are made new. Sins are forgiven and our hearts are changed. Bringing everything else into line may prove to be a process of refinement the develops and deepens our faith.
Work In Progress
I have been made new. All you have to do is read through my blogs or look at my Facebook from a year or more ago and you will see a palpable change. Thought my heart and soul are new…my body, habits and knowledge have to catch up. I want to be a work in progress. I want people to see changes unfolding in my life. If everything were easy and I were perfectly where I thought I should be…I would not feel the need to learn and grow. Trust me, wherever you are in life there is room to learn and grow. God may speak to you through a child, teen or a charismatic young woman. If you think you have it all together…you might not hear what is being spoken to you.